With apologies to Queen

Shamelessly copied from Stranger Fruit. It was simply too good. Originally from MartinC. All about the "movie" Expelled here.

Bensteinian Rhapsody

Is this stuff real science?
Or is it just fantasy,
That belongs in a place like
Bob Jones University?
Just close your eyes,
Don’t think, just accept ID
I’m a game show host,
I don’t know biology,
But this sleazy bunch, told me so,
It could be lies, how would I know?
So long as the check clears, it doesn’t really matter to me,
To me.


Anyone? I just filmed a sham,
Put some lies into your head,
Libelled Darwin, coz’ he’s dead,
Honor, you know I once had some,
But now I’ve gone and blown it all away-
Anyone? ooooohhhhh
Was it mean to tell those lies?
You’d learn more science by watching Rocky Horror-
Anyone? Anyone? My reputations now in tatters-

Too late, my crime is done,
Dembski told me I did fine-
Behe’s squirming, (he’ll be fine),
Goodbye science lessons-you’ve got to go
Gonna leave your kids behind and hide the truth
Adolf, oooooh (a shame he wasn’t atheist)
I’ll just have to lie,
I’ll just pretend that he wasn’t Christian at all-

- guitar solo -

I’ve got a little animation of a cell,
When in haste, copy paste, yes indeed that was the plan, though-
Copyright infringement lawsuit noose is tightening on me-
Sternberg’s ethics, (they’re a shocker)
How ‘bout Crocker, (off her rocker)
And what to say of Guillermo ? Guillermo-oh-oh-oh
I’m without tenure, and nobody loves me-
He’s just a headcase, embarrassing his faculty-
Spare us the whines of this mediocrity-
Please I pray – on my soul, Will you make it so-
Guillermo! No-, we will not make it so - make it so-
Guillermo! No-, we will not make it so - make it so-
Guillermo! we will not make it so – make it so
Will not make it so- make it so
Will not make it so – make it so
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
That Eugenie, she’s a meanie, but there’s much worse godless foe!
Beelzebub sent Dick Dawkins and his friend, PeeeeZeeee- PeeeeZeeee, PeeeeZeeeeeeee!

So you think you’ll teach children, maybe open their minds,
Study nature, alter stem cells for cures of all kinds -
Or maybe, stop Gods plan that’s HIV,
Well if I had my way, I’d close you all down out of fear!

Science it doesn’t matter,
Lets teach theology,
Just pray when cancer strikes you,
Just pray there'll come a cure from ID

I should have stuck to game shows…….

Note to self

This post serves as a reminder to my self. May I return to it in 30-odd years and find that I've lived up to it. If not, may this post embarrass me and make me change my ways.

To love your children means to respect them. To respect them, means to accept their choices without comment. You may not always agree with the choices you make, but that is rather irrelevant. Although we may see children as little horcruxes, you have to let that piece of you live it's own life.

No matter what choice your children (or anyone else for that matter) make, it is theirs to make. And under no circumstances do you have the right to do things differently in their house. For example, if they use a dishwasher to wash and dry their dishes, and really prefer to do their dishes that way, you have no right to sneak into the kitchen early in the morning to quickly do the dishes by hand, and put them away before everyone gets up. It doesn't matter that you think using a dishwasher is wasteful, and for purposes of this discussion, it doesn't matter who is right. If you are asked to do thing their way or not at all, the right thing to do is to respect their wishes. No matter how much you think you're trying to help them, you're not helping by doing things differently than they are used to.

If their house is a mess, you can only clean it up if you are specifically asked to help out, or if you offer to help, AND the offer is accepted. If they say: "no thanks" they mean: "No, thank you for the offer, but we either prefer to live in the mess, or we prefer to clean it up ourselves. At any rate, if you clean it up I may never find my stuff again. No, thanks." This does not mean you're useless as a parent or grandparent. It just means that cleaning up is not what is expected of you at this point in time.

It might also not be appreciated if you tell them over and over again, how you do all your laundry by hand. It's not really fair to compare a single-and-retired-person household with one with three kids where both parents work full-time. But again, that's besides the point. If your children want to use a clothes washer for every piece of clothing they own, that's ok.

This is not to say we cannot have useful conversations about anything. There are ways of talking about things, and giving opinions, without being critical. And when you've giving your opinion, and your children find it a useful suggestion they will incorporate it into their lives. There is really no need to mention it ten more times to indicate that your way really is the best way. If your children do not change their ways, even after you have enlightened them about the best way, it doesn't mean they don't love you or like you.

The trick to getting along with your children is to treat them like you would any other adult. With respect, and this respect will likely be returned. Add a dose of true caring and love, and you can hardly go wrong. You can have intelligent discussions, and joyful reunions without strain. Isn't that the kind of environment you would want to see your grandchildren in, and the kind of example you want to set for them?

The week

Passing my orals was the beginning of a very productive week for me. Rarely have I been that motivated. Sadly, my productivity was ground to a halt by one of our cars breaking down on the weekend. It didn't help matters that some of the kids are home on Spring Break. Our car is still in the shop and it's going to cost a whopping $1200 to get it fixed. Another care is out of question right now, so we have no choice but to throw good money at a not so good car, in the hope it will last us for at least another year. We've had a rental car now since Monday, which we can no longer afford. It has to go back tomorrow, but our car might not even be finished yet by then.

This should highlight one of the problems of being a mother and a graduate student. Because P1 makes more than I do, and he has a (semi) permanent job, he cannot afford to simply take off some time to hang out with the kids. That is exclusively my job. If the kids get sick, or they are home for any other reason, I'm the one that has to stay home with them. It's not that I mind hanging out with the kids, but it is always my research that has to take a back seat. And that is incredibly frustrating.

Posting is light as a result of an overdose of kids and car trouble right now. If all goes well though, we'll return to our regular scheduled program soon.

Definitions

When you do research, the outcome often depends on the questions you ask, or the way you phrase them. For example. This study that is mentioned on ScienceDaily. Thanks to Coturnix for pointing this out.

According to the study results sex lasting 3-13 minutes is better than longer sex. What struck me, was how they measured sex, and I quote:

"...from penetration of the vagina by the penis until ejaculation."

It isn't just me here, right, who thinks that this definition is a wee bit sexist, and mildly male-oriented? No, wrong. It is big-time sexist, and grossly male-oriented. Nowhere was the female orgasm mentioned. If the male ejaculates before the female has an orgasm, is sex over? I think you might find a woman or two (billion) who disagree with that. And I suppose, vaginal-penetration is the only activity that counts as sex.

And what about gay sex? I guess when two women have sex, it's not really sex, since there might not be any penetration. And when two men have sex, I suppose one can have an orgasm, and then it's over. Had the question been put a little different, the results might have been dramatically different.

I'm hoping that this is just bad reporting, and that the researchers had a better, more representative way of assessing the time sex lasts. But it sure sounds that at the very minimum, gay sex wasn't considered at all, and heterosexual intercourse was defined by decidedly male actions without any consideration of what the woman (who presumably makes up 50% of the interaction) experiences.

And I quote some more:

"Past research has found that a large percentage of men and women, who responded, wanted sex to last 30 minutes or longer."

You think that maybe questions were phrased better? It is likely to change the 3-13 minute range.

1 year

It's amazing! It's been a year since I started this blog. Twelve months and 134 posts later, I must say that it's been even more rewarding than I could have imagined. Thanks to all who stop by, be it occasionally or regularly, thanks to those who comment, and those who don't. Happy blogiversary to me!!

April 1

Note: I really did pass my quals. It was not an April fools joke. Although when the date was schedule some naughty thoughts of what I could do to my committee did occur to me.

This morning I told F1-1 that his science teacher had e-mailed me to remind him of his comprehensive exam today. He looked at me blankly. I stared back "What? she didn't tell you? You have this oral exam today, and all the science teachers in the school are going to be asking you questions and it will be 80% of your grade for this school year! You're telling me you haven't studied for this?" [put on really grim face].

I could literally see the blood draining from his face. It was quite priceless. Hey, at least someone was feeling the same thing I did. He was downright panicked. I let him steam in his skin for quite a while, but eventually could no longer stand it, and asked him if his teacher hadn't told him it was April 1st either.

The relieve on that kid's face. He was seriously sweating it, and I think he's going to school to play the same joke on a bunch of his friends, although I suspect the exam will turn in an all-topic, worth 95% of your grade kind of thing.

Oral exam.... again

This morning, I passed my PhD oral qualifying exam. After I failed on the first try, this wasn't an easy process. I haven't been this nervous since my high school final exams in another life time.

Do I feel elated? Not quite the right word. I'm relieved to have it over with, but more than anything, I have this incredible urge to run around and do all the things that I wanted to do the past 6 weeks, but couldn't because I was either depressed from not having passed the first time, or too busy preparing for today.

I have stuff to do! I have to prepare two posters to present at a national meeting this Summer, I have to write a paper to submit to a journal, I have 3 experiments to set up, two to keep going, one to analyze. I need to blog more, and spend time with my family.

Aaahh, my family, what can I say? They have been indescribably wonderful through it all. The kids, have driven me crazy, demanding my undivided attention in both good and bad ways. In doing so, they have forced my mind away from my failure, forced me to think about things other than oral exams. They have forced me to see, again, that getting this degree is the best thing I can do for them in the long run. That I need to do this for them as much as for myself. My husband, tried his best to keep the kids away from me yesterday. I had gone into our office to study in a quiet atmosphere, and instead of P1 and the kids being far, far away, they all congregated in my room, making me laugh, and happy, even though I had this big dark cloud hanging over my head. I wouldn't have been able to this without P1. He's the best. Most of all, because he would have loved me no less, if I had not passed today. He wouldn't have been critical of me. He would have lashed out at my committee members, without ever considering that I did something wrong. He is my rock.

My adviser. He was supportive from the start. He probably was too overconfident for my first exam, but he was visibly proud of me today. He's always been very upbeat, with nothing but good things to say about me. He protected me from other committee members, while making sure they could ask their questions. He told me to refuse to guess, and I did, and when I was pushed harder, I refused even harder, and said that guessing wasn't going to make me a better scientist. I wasn't about to allow anyone to laugh at my foolish guesses.

I could go on and on, but this is probably enough. I passed, and I have to go. I have work to do. Have a glass of wine on me this evening! I know I will.