I just sent off Chapter 4. While I was waiting for F1-3 this morning at her ballet class, I got quite a bit written for Chapter 5, so I'm hoping to wrap that up this evening. I haven't gotten any feedback yet on Chapter 3 from my adviser. I'm getting there. Not fast enough, but I can only do so much.
This afternoon we had lunch on the porch. I was feeling really drained. I'm running out of steam. After lunch I fell asleep on the porch chair. I must have slept for an hour or more. P1 didn't wake me up, he figured I needed the nap. I was furious with myself after waking up, but in retrospect it did give me the energy to finish off Chapter 4.
You know what's most frustrating about it all? That working to the pointing of killing myself now, is not by any stretch a guarantee that I'll make it on time, that my adviser will approve, that my committee will approve, that I will pass my defense, or that I will graduate. But I have no choice at this point but to go on. Ok, back to it.
I AM OUT OF CONTROL
12 hours ago