Anonymity

One of the reasons that I'm not writing as much of late is that I've been wondering about where to take this blog (if anywhere). I want to say more about what I'm doing, especially with respect to science, but that does take away any hope of staying (relatively) anonymous.

For a number of complicated reasons, I was uncomfortable revealing more about my identity, but some of those reasons are gradually going away. This is good news!!! At the same time, I have blogged about some fairly intimate stuff in the past..... I would to hate to feel limited by what I can write, by worrying about who might read it.

At any rate, it looks like, I may do some cleaning up of old posts, and lift the veil slightly. More and more over time, maybe. And blog more. Since that's what it's always been about. The saga of my house is a start.

Cuttlefish strikes again

The Digital Cuttlefish is right. Again. And he has an even harder job than I do, since I don't (even try to) rhyme. There are lots of ideas for post, but it's often hard to find the energy. I'm not ready to give up though!

Some things never change

This post is part of the virtual baby shower for Sciencegirl . After 3 kids, one of which has special needs, I consider myself somewhat of an expert on kids. Of course, my kids go out of their way to prove how arrogant that is of me. They never fail to come up with something that makes me think: "now how do I deal with this!"

So, I guess that's the first thing I want to share with Sciencegirl. Kids have a mind of their own. They may resemble both parents, but they're very much individual people, even before they're born. Someone asked me once whether it isn't wonderful to have a little life to mold. You've got to be kidding me! They mold you and not the other way around. Having said that I found that my children bring out the best in me.

I also found that children have a personality before they're born. F1-2 was always a very quiet baby when I was pregnant, to the point that I was concerned, because he wasn't moving enough, and he is still my most docile kid.

A couple of weeks before the birth of my first baby, F1-1, we had a huge multi-course family dinner. Lots of fun! We were served the most yummy soup ever. The dining table was a little lower than normal, and my belly was resting against the bowl of soup. F1-1 had always been a little wild during my pregnancy, I didn't know any better, this was my first child, so I figured this must be normal. Suddenly F1-1 gave one of his huge kicks and the bowl tipped over. In my efforts to save the bowl, I spilled the soup all over the table.

Yep. he was a wild one, my F1-1. Some things never change.

Frequency of posts

Why does Makita not post as often as she used to? It only occurred to me recently. Well, I know I haven't been posting very often, but I didn't realize why until recently. I still enjoy reading blogs, and I like writing blog posts. I love getting comments, however small. So what's up?

When I started this blog as a graduate student, things were a little.... shall we say hectic? Crazy? Over the top? Take your pick. It wasn't easy. Being a full-time graduate student with 1, 2, 3 kids. Some argue I have 4. Horrible health insurance, questionable stability in immigration status. Blogging was a great outlet for me. I could rant and rave in (relative) anonymity, and bitch and whine, and complain. If my readers didn't like it that was fine, there were plenty happy, easy-going bloggers out there to entertain them.

But 2009 has been very good to us. After graduating in late 2008, I found a job quickly. It has turned out to be a wonderful job. We won a major court case in the Summer, we traded in our car in the cash-for-clunkers program, cutting our fuel bills in half, P1 started the application process for tenure. I almost feel bad. So many people have been hit so hard in the recession. A number of my friends have had a hard time in their pursuit of degrees, losing loved ones either by breaking up or death. Many of my friends have dealt with financial hardship. But 2009 was good for us.

We're not by any stretch of the imagination rich, especially not since we're still paying off our attorney for several more months. But we have a roof over our head, wheels to drive our kids and ourselves around, and we eat well.

So that's the reason I haven't posted much. I don't have much to complain about. I had to think whether that would mean the end of my blog. Should I stop blogging, because the initial drive is gone? Or should I re-program myself to blog even if things are going relatively well? I love writing, I guess I choose for option 2. I'm sticking around for a while longer. For as long as it's fun. And if things go wrong, I'll have a ready-made outlet to complain.

Update

Has it really been 3 weeks since I last posted? I thought it was a couple of days ago. I guess I'd better get everyone caught up.

I've taken a nice break. From (almost) everything. The holidays were relaxed, although it was a bit challenging to entertain 3 kids with ages varying from 3 t0 13. I've had to take care of my plants for the experiment I'm trying to wrap up for publication purposes, and I did finish writing a paper by mid-December. I did a lot of little projects around the house that had been accumulating for more than a year. It's been nice to go from room to room through the house and do some of that.

I searched for a job by (literally) going from door to door (but being selective when it came to choosing specific doors) offering my services. On the first day I scored two maybe's not bad.

Job 1 is related to the research I did for my MS. I suppose the learning curve is somewhat smaller. But the funding isn't certain for several more weeks, and I couldn't afford to wait, largely because of immigration issues.

Job 2 is with a really high-energy professor in a neighboring department. It's less than ideal in that it's not a full post-doc with (health) benefits. However, the PI has agreed that if I make some decent progress on the two projects I'm assigned I can leave to pursue other options (presumably Job 1). Fair enough.

The really good news was that I could start today at Job 2, which I did. So technically I was unemployed for 20 days. Not bad, eh?

I got so caught up in science that I totally forgot to feed the parking meter all day. Luckily the parking police didn't stop by, and I got away with it. I'd better not try that again.

I really, really like the lab. There are 14 or 15 very friendly people in the lab, the PI works at the bench regularly, they have regular lab meetings (lacking in the previous lab I was in, which I didn't like at all), and one of the projects is in such an advanced state, I ought to be able to get a paper out of it in a couple of months. It might be hard to leave the lab for another job (with a higher salary and/or benefits). I was never in this for the money anyway. But the benefits account for a lot. I need health benefits badly, and cannot justify turning down a job with health benefits simply because I'm having so much fun.

Anyway, now everyone is back up-to-date. Dr Makita is employed!

Done!

Really, totally, completely done! After having gone back and forth a number of times with the editorial office to finalize the dissertation, they finally sent me an e-mail that I've met their requirements. It's over!

Thanks to everyone for cheering me on, from the deepest of depths to highest of peaks, thanks for all your support, advice, good wishes, and all the other things I'm too emotional to think about right now.

Special thanks to Brazen Hussy for hosting InaDWriMo 2008. Having a counter and a blog to put it on to keep you painfully aware of your (lack of) progress helped me more than I can express. I would highly recommend putting up some sort of counter to help you with your goals. It didn't hurt matters that I had some pretty solid deadlines from the university to work with, but I had options if I failed to meet those. I could have postponed graduation with a semester without having to pay additional tuition fees by submitting in early January, I could have been stuck with having to pay for 3 credits of tuition next semester and graduated in May if I had decided to not finish by early January. It might have made things tougher, but they were real options that I seriously considered.

I think ultimately what pushed me through is the support from my family. They paid a really high price in terms of my absence of the past year. I hope it was worth it. I have some major repair work to do there. Hopefully I'll have some time now.

It seems like an incredibly long road, but I did finish up in 4 years. I started this program in January 2005. That's not too bad for having 3 kids (4, if you count the husband), one of which with special needs. I sincerely hope they will be rewarded for their efforts.

Thank you so much everybody!!!

Now back to regular blogging.

Welcome

Busy , busy. But I really ought to make some time to introduce my readers to yet another friend who started her own blog: Under A Creosote Bush. Inspired by InaDWriMo 2008, she hopes to let the world know of her world. And an interesting one it is!

A Cyclone Living in Miami

Check out my friend's blog. She's from the Midwest, and lives (for now) in Miami. Will she need to rename the blog when she moves away?

I'm going to be famous!

This should attract some interesting comments, and maybe a few juicy christians for dessert too. I guess I'd better get some controversial posts up in a hurry.

Update: Hey, did anybody check to see what this did to my sitemeter? It's off the charts!!

Surprise!

I went to the Godless Brunch on Sunday!! And I have a picture of myself with THE big guy. Yeehaw!

Silence

Why is Makita so silent these days? Has she had enough of blogging?

Well, here it is guys and gals. I'm hoping that this is the home stretch, and is it ever torture!

1. My adviser is leaving at the end of this month, and although I have a co-adviser for the Fall semester it will not be the same.
2. I have to prepare and present two posters at a meeting at the end of July.
3. My first dissertation draft is due in early October. That is 3 months from now!
4. I'm still frantically doing experiments to get the necessary data. I just harvested one yesterday. While I'm processing those samples (plants, soil, and disease data), I have to set up the next experiment.

To prepare the posters for the meeting I've been up until 3-4 am in the morning almost every day for the past 2 weeks. There isn't enough coffee in the world to keep me awake anymore.

So you see, I hardly have time to read blogs (and I miss doing that dearly!), so writing blog posts myself right now is a bit tough, But I'll try to do better.

By the time October comes along it will be clear where I stand. Whether my work will be deemed good enough to graduate or not. December is the ultimate deadline for me. In terms of immigration status and funding. If I don't graduate by December, I will not graduate at all. And that would be a shame. So I suppose this means more sleepless nights, and less blogging for the foreseeable future. I will put up a post in the near future to introduce the newest addition to our family, so stay tuned!

1 year

It's amazing! It's been a year since I started this blog. Twelve months and 134 posts later, I must say that it's been even more rewarding than I could have imagined. Thanks to all who stop by, be it occasionally or regularly, thanks to those who comment, and those who don't. Happy blogiversary to me!!

Hooray for women being the change they want to see!

When Sciencewoman asked Alice Pawley to join her on Scienceblogs, she asked for help choosing a name. I thought it might be too obvious, but it seemed to me, "Sciencewomen" was THE choice. Even though Alice is not strictly a scientist, and quite proud of being an engineer, she most certainly uses scientific principles in her work, and the name was simple. I suggested it, and lo and behold, it was chosen as the new name for their joint blog. And to reward me for coming up with the obvious, I got this in the mail today:



I'm so proud!

Knock...

Knock... knock.... Is anybody still there? You didn't all leave yet, did you? You didn't wait for me to come out from underneath my rock? Oh well. I guess I have to start building my readers base from scratch. If you did hang around waiting for me, thanks. I usually bounce back pretty quickly after disaster strikes, but it took me a while this time. And I may still not be entirely my old self, but that may have more to do with the horrible cold virus I've contracted than continued depression due to not passing the oral exam.

Over the past week and a half or so, I've been puttering around the lab, mainly doing stuff that I would have to do anyway, no matter what my decision is. Like cleaning up, organizing my samples, gathering my data, and such. My adviser is his usual friendly, happy self, full of encouragement. One of his best friends in the department, who is also on my committee, urged me to go on. He insisted that it's feasible to finish, and he agrees with my adviser on what I need to do to finish. Now, if we could just get the rest of the committee to agree....

A few minutes ago, I sent out an e-mail asking which dates int he end of March would be good to re-do my exam. That is a decision of sorts. At least it means I'll be taking the exam again. I reserve the right to bail out any time I feel like it, though, and call the whole thing off.

The thing is, what else would I do with myself? I'd be miserable at home, being in the lab is what I do best, it's what I love to do. So, gradually, I've re-entered the lab, even though I mainly do housekeeping right now. I have to write up a report on everything I've done so far, which is essentially the second chapter of my (intended) dissertation. If it wasn't for the nasty bug I caught, I might have made some progress on that.

On top of that, I'm leaving town for a few days and will not be back until Saturday afternoon. So, I'm putting any major things on hold until then. Meanwhile, I expect to be back to blogging as usual from now on. Glad you stuck around!

I'm not as think as you drunk I am!

I wasn't even hungover on New Year's Day. I had a fantastic three weeks at home. Lots and lots of good food, quality family time, excessive dancing, thoroughly soaking the brain in alcohol. The stuff fairy tales are made of if you ask me. The kids had a great time with grandma. P1 and I went out more times in the past couple of weeks than we have gone out in the past 8 years put together. It was really nice to reconnect with him and my kids. I met so many friends that I haven't seen in decades, it's hard to keep track.

When I got back it was so cold, I was ready to turn back around and catch the first flight back. But, the work calls. This year I have to graduate, so I need to kick into high gear. I'm spending this weekend sobering up, unpacking, cleaning up the house to make a fresh start on Monday.



Happy New Year!!

Blog break

Since I'm currently located in a country in a warm climate, with lots of good entertainment, food and alcohol, and sadly, less than perfect internet connections, I am forced to take a break from blogging. I should return the first week of January, provided I sober up enough to post something remotely legible. Have a great start of 2008!

My gift

Last week I got my gift from Sciencewoman in the mail. Thank you Sciencewoman. I really enjoy reading blog, you're a true superhero. And then to get a gift, is a nice bonus.

To add to the excitement, the gift has an interesting story too, which I would like to share.


The bookmark was made out of recycled junk mail, with a cancelled stamp from Benin, by another female science blogger (woohoo!). She also has her own online crafts store: Recycled Ideas, where everything is made out of recycled material. This is a great way to find gifts to show you're giving in an environmentally friendly way.

Thank you Sciencewoman, what a great and thoughtful gift. Now if only could find time to read a book to use the bookmark with. I suppose for now, it'll have to be put to work in scientific papers.

Blog Action Day: Environment

I grew up in a tropical third world country. Most of the country is covered in pristine rainforest. Sadly, ever increasing areas are being logged or destroyed by mining. It is sad. For a couple of years I left the capital and moved to the rainforest. It really brought the rainforest to life for me, in ways short visits never had before that time.

In the tropics plants and animals (especially insects) are a normal part of daily life, but the diversity in the rainforest is truly astonishing. On a field trip on day I saw the most amazing caterpillar. That is, I think it was a caterpillar, since it's main body was long and narrow. However, it was unlike any caterpillar I had ever seen before. It had huge colorful ornamentations, spikes sticking out from all over it's body. I must have stood there watching it for the longest time, not wanting to take my eyes off of it. Where is the damn camera when you need it anyway?

Another time a black panther (or jaguar) crossed the dirt road right in front of me. Amazing, the large glistening body, the muscles in his legs as he ran, the sparkle in his eyes. I'll never forget the sight.

Snakes are not uncommon in the capital, but in the rainforest you run across one virtually every day. Since I don't know how to distinguish most of them, I've always kept a polite distance from them. Crocodiles were frequently sunning themselves on the bank of the river where I lived.

And then one day I awoke to the sound of heavy machinery. Across the river trees were falling one by one, and a few weeks later the river bank was barren. It tore at my heartstrings. Isn't there anything anyone can do to stop this?

Many organizations worldwide condemn large scale logging in tropical rainforests. Understandable, but often demands are rather unreasonable. Logging and mining are responsible for a substantial part of the gross domestic product of nations that are struggling to keep their heads above water in the modern world. As developing countries we don't really want to cut down the entire forest, it simply helps to diversify our economies. Often poor countries perpetuate their poverty because their economies are not diversified enough to grow. Dependency on one or two major export products can be devastating if the market for one breaks down. Many people living in rich countries really have no idea what it is like to live as an underdog in an underdeveloped country. It is a constant struggly to prevent yourself from drowning in the maelstrom that is todays world economy.

This post is in memory of my father. He opposed the ban on imports of tropical hardwood from countries with tropical rainforests. He argued that if developed countries no longer import hardwood, it would greatly decrease the value of each tree. There would be no financial incentive for us to keep our rainforest as intact as possible.

The solution, in his opinion, is to encourage developing countries to maintain their rainforests by giving incentives for logging in a responsible manner (which is possible). Ideas he had were incentives for a minimum trunk size before logging, so that the trees had had plenty of opportunity to propagate. An adoption program, which would allow people to adopt trees, or sections of the rainforest in return for sustainable management. He argued that if hardwood has no value for us, we would ultimately have no choice but to cut down the rainforest to allow more lucrative ways to use the forest. The bottom line is, it is all a question of economics.

Responsible programs have been developed and are in use in tropical rainforests all over the world. Poor countries need financial incentives to implement these programs.

In loving memory of EAB (November 1944- June 2007)

New Blogger

Everybody go and say hi to a brand new superhero on Scienceblogs: Sciencewoman.

On the work front

Having lost more than a month this Summer to absence and general un-productivity, I've officially turned on the jet engines now. I'm busy isolating my favorite plant pathogen, and have a number of experiments lined up. I also have to call together my committee to explain my lack of results so far and to schedule my qualifying exams. Considering that I passed my qualifying exams in my previous program, I don't really feel like going through it again. But that's the nature of the game. On the bright side, since I'll be more engrossed in real science, more science-related posts are likely to follow. So now: back to the microscope.