The day after

Yesterday was Father's Day. I didn't write a post on Father's Day like I did for Mother's Day. I did call my father and talked to both my parents yesterday. Today he is fighting for his life attached to machines to help him breathe. The prognosis is not good. He is still relatively young, at 62, he is too young to die in my opinion. He is a vibrant, witty, eloquent, incredibly smart and outspoken man. Quite a forceful human being. Actually that just about sums him up: "human being." His philosophy of "live and let live" is one I've always aspired to copy. A biologist himself, he instilled in me my love for biology. His outspoken atheism has always allowed me to see the ridiculousness of prayer and believe in imaginary friends. His ideas about politics are always way too progressive to fit comfortably in this day and age. His relaxed attitude in the most severe crises could calm down the entire family. Who will take charge now that the family is in crisis and he is at the center of it?

It is so painful to be apart from my father, mother, aunts and cousins, when I want to be with them, now more than ever. It would take me about three days to get home, and it does not sound hopeful that he will make it that long. And then there are a lot of other issues that I'm not entirely comfortable discussing on this blog, that would make it indeed very, very tough to return to the States afterwards. Going to be with that part of the family may mean being separated from this part of my family indefinitely. The unfairness of this situation is infuriating.

I'm hoping he will pull through and see F1-3 at least once.